The Gray World

Few things make one feel so alone as seeing the world through a gray veil. As she put down the book she’d been grazing through, she came to realize, surprising herself, that the words on the page hadn’t been successful in capturing her attention, much less her heart.

The room was quiet. Her mind drifted back to the events of yesterday. The conversation she’d shared with Adam lived in her mind as being distant and dull. As he’d been talking to her, she’d found his words ever so difficult to relate to or even comprehend. Had he changed? Had he gradually become someone who was dull? Then why, she wondered, had they been friends to begin with?

She remembered how his eyes looked, focusing on her. Like they expected to see a response that simply never came. People couldn’t expect her to be interested in their own problems, she thought nonchalantly.

Truthfully, though, indifference seemed to have been her only companion recently. Slowly she had become numb to the world around her, and distant, so distant from everything she once fiercly loved. Nothing ever permeated the gray veil surrounding her entire being, affecting her neither for good nor for bad. Her heart remained as still as a lake’s water on a windless day. No rising or falling. She wanted so intensely to feel again, even if that meant being distraught.

She herself could not be blamed for feeling this way. Nothing would in fact please her more than finding a way to escape this feeling, after all. No, she had not brought this upon herself. The feeling had simply descended, over time, when she was least expecting it to.

A noise sounded in the hall. She remembered that she was going somewhere that day. Someone was coming to tell her it was time to leave. Without a warning, the cloud of murky grayness looming over her mind dispersed. She noticed that sunlight was flooding the room. She smiled, and felt again.


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